Shana Lynn Schmidt, LLC

The coronavirus pandemic is going to go down in my memory as a revelatory gift.

Sitting at home. Away from long held patterns. Separate from my triggers. Life becomes clear.
Little stress. Even less tangible focus. A return to self.

As a child I often heard from adults that I should “put in more effort” or “have more to give”. To “stop daydreaming” and “focus”.
As an adult I worked from this belief until March 2nd, 2020. The world slowed to nearly a stop. So did I. For as long as I remember I believed I was only as good as how hard I worked. Work to be a great daughter. Work to be a great sibling. Work to be a great therapist. Work to be a great speaker. Work to be a great wife. Work to be a great parent. Work to be a great friend. I could never quite nail it. Pretty good at all. Exhausted.

Sitting at home. Quiet & reflective. Lost in beautiful memories. Honest with my heart. Slowly deleting. An embrace of self.

As a child I would sit in a classroom staring out the window, lost in beautiful fantasy. As a preteen I would ride my horse through the fields and roads of the countryside, lost in beautiful story. As an adult I would drive across the state toward the mountains, lost in solitude and freedom. It turns out, I was working hard and putting in all of the effort I have toward what I love. The story. Fantasy. Fiction. Factual. It’s all part of the story. My story.